ode to self

the signs have always been there and you watched them all play out piece by piece, he breaks at you until you’re nothing but self doubt and even when you tried so hard you quickly come to see That you’re the only one fighting and that it wasn’t meant to be.

heartbreak is my mother tongue & you are the land that calmly ran through my veins They told me it would always be with me The motherland lives within

they say

  sewn into veins threaded into time   we must never forget this barren place what happened here you taught me so well we had lessons every day didn't we us, we

i and u

a language so powerful i could feel it when your lips were closed the silence was louder than the cries that seeped from my throat I can understand But ask me to speak it and my throat will come up dry  

-Alex McKay

a present for you, I said. mother says giving is better than receiving. isn’t that lovely, when I gave you everything I could and still I received nothing. pretending isn’t fun anymore when reality creeps into every crevice, opens every door and window. look at me, look at me. this was our fairytale, except you were the dragon and I saved myself -alex mckay